Open Heart

I bought this ring years ago- probably in an antique shop in some mountain town- my favorite haunts. For several years it has been in my jewelry box- which is really more of a jewelry bag/organizer. As I looked through my collection, I realized I've settled into a jewelry routine that left out a lot of my favorite pieces. Women, do you do that? Go in cycles of wearing certain jewelry, and then one day, you find a piece you haven't worn in a while, and you fall in love with it all over again. I used to have a VAST collection- not expensive by any stretch of the imagination. I cared more to have a variety than to have quality. And then one day that changed, and the more meaningful pieces took a regular spot in the routine. 

 It’s funny how different pieces can mean different things at different times in our lives. I was looking for a family heirloom to give my daughter for Mother’s Day and ran across the single heart ring. I was immediately captured by its design. See recently, I had an experience I can only refer to as God opening my heart again. My heart, which shut down two years ago, came back to life. The paddles were placed strategically over my heart and set to jolt me back reality. Like a hibernating bear awakened mid-winter, I awoke with raw emotions. My heart beat fast in my chest, and it was undeniable. Surely as the seasons change, my winter was over. The pain of lost love subsided. I could look back on my life with my love and smile, knowing we had a precious time together that would never be lost or forgotten. The hope of the future and possibility shocked my system. 

The flowers smelled sweeter; the sun shined brighter, my smiles were genuine, not forced through the heartache. Suddenly, I looked more forward than backward.

 While I was so overjoyed at the return to life, I overlooked the liabilities. See when you open your heart- really open your heart, everything spills out, and everything seeps in. You love and hope with great abandon because the pain it took to open it was ruthless.

“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.” Rumi

What Rumi fails to tell, however, is once it’s open, people, situations, and words will keep breaking your heart until you’re tempted to shut it up again. It’s a vicious cycle. So is it worth it?  Worth it to have an open heart?

“Watch over (guard) your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”

Proverbs 4:23 

For some reason, I always associated the “guard your heart” verse with guarding your heart against others and what you allow in, and yet, it seems to say what is flowing from your heart can overcome life’s hurts and setbacks. “Springs of life” FLOW FROM your heart. So how in the world can we experience the fullness of life if we shut it off?

We can’t. So, don’t shut it down. Hook it up.

 Hook your heart to HIM. (God)

 Jane Seymour (alias Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman) has a jewelry line called “Open Heart”- its symbol is two open hearts linked together. (Google it!) It’s a beautiful thought, really. Unfortunately, sometimes when we live with an open heart, we hook it to the wrong things like other’s love, expectations, or approval. We can even hook our open hearts to good things like dreams, friendships, and opportunities only to have it end badly, sending us reeling. 

If we are not connected to God, what flows out of us are rivers of anger, bitterness, disappointment, resentment, and unforgiveness.

“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other…”

I Thessalonians 3:12

Instead of the romantic image Seymour portrays, between two humans, with her designs, the image it gives me is hooking our open heart to God’s open heart. The heart of God is the seat of life. And everything good flows from it to us through us. God’s love, protection, His wisdom, and purpose for our lives. Our best life is a life lived from the outpouring of God. So risk it. Risk the vulnerability of living with an open heart. I am. I have to. 

After all, I would rather live with abandon than abandon love. 

I would rather live an open life that endures and grows through pain than live isolated where I drown in agony. I would rather live with my heart open than close it to hope and possibility. 

 And for every piercing and blow my heart takes from someone’s actions or words, or circumstance gone wrong, God has placed within me springs of life that will flow once again, stronger, if I’ll just let it.